Let’s be honest- from the outside, your life probably looks FINE. (Better than fine, if you ask the people around you.) You show up, you get it done and you smile on cue… but on the inside, you’re just going through the motions.
If that hit a little too close to home, start by finding out where you REALLY are. Take the free Holistic Life Audit– rate 25 areas of your life and see where you’re thriving and where you’re stuck.
What “Functioning but Not Thriving” Looks Like
It’s one of those hard seasons- sometimes a really long, hard period in life- where life seems to offer very little joy and happiness, and you’re just going through the motions. Day after day after day.
Here’s the thing: when your obligations constantly trump your own basic needs, it’s time for something to change.
The Signs
So how do you know if that’s you? Here’s what I see in the women I work with. Read through these and be honest with yourself- how many sound familiar?
- You’re tired.
- You tend toward despondency- but only in private, because heaven forbid anyone find out that everything isn’t “fine.”
- You smile when expected, but it’s not genuine.
- You bend over backwards to accommodate everyone else so you don’t disappoint people, even when it means subjugating your own basic needs. (Again.)
- You feel TRAPPED in your life, even though, to everyone else, things look good.
- You have to focus on the next vacation or getaway just to get through the week, instead of looking forward to your day-to-day life.
Count them. Seriously- count them.
I’ve Been There
I’m not writing this from the outside looking in. I’ve lived it- twice.
The end of both of my marriages felt stifling and hopeless. In both instances, I always dreaded going home to my husband (not just occasionally)- and felt trapped (socially and financially). It didn’t help that neither husband was interested in marriage counseling or doing any personal growth work, which absolutely contributed to my feelings of helplessness and hopelessness to change what my future looked like. It also made me feel like neither I nor our marriage was worth fighting for- their “good enough” was well below my minimum expectations.
(I share more of that story in How to Get Your Life Back on Track: Where to Start.)
What Thriving Looks Like
So what does thriving look like? For me, it’s looking forward to my day-to-day life, instead of counting down to the next vacation or getaway. It’s feeling good about myself, my life and my situation. It’s feeling HOPEFUL about the future.
What would it look like for YOU?
When It’s More Than a Rough Patch
I need to be really clear about this next part.
When you can’t even begin to envision a light at the end of the tunnel, and change feels both impossible and not worth pursuing, that’s more than a rough patch. If you just don’t see the point of anything anymore, you’re at a point beyond what a coach can help with.
Please- talk to your doctor or a licensed mental health professional. I am a life coach, not a doctor, therapist or counselor, and this is NOT something to tough out on your own. If you’re thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the US) or call 911. Right now.
Where to Start
If you recognized yourself in this post, here’s your first step: take a deep breath, show yourself some grace, and ASK FOR HELP- from a friend, your partner, or someone else you love and trust. (Yes, I know. Asking for help is HARD when you’re used to being the one everybody else leans on. Do it anyway.)
Want more? Browse all of Getting Your Life Back on Track.
So let me ask you- and be honest: are you thriving… or just functioning? And how long are you willing to settle for that?
Want someone in your corner while you figure out what thriving looks like for you? SPARK is six weeks of one-on-one virtual coaching. Book your consultation.
